Sports

Sports is a thing that entertains some people and bores others to tears. Basically one team plays another, one team wins, the other loses. They are mostly discussed in the Sports Bar, but every now and then chat leaks out to the main discussion channel and pisses off Millsy.

The main appeal of sports lies in the ability to tell other people that they suck. For instance, if your team of overpaid millionaires who have never heard of you and will never care about you at all beats someone else's team of overpaid millionaires, you gain the right to tell that person that they are a loser by extension. However, this can backfire, as if your team loses, you become a loser as well. For this reason, many sports fans have taken up the practice of bandwagoning; choosing teams who are likely to win and, in some cases, abandoning them when they lose.

The other great appeal of sports is the drama. Drama is the glue that holds both the internet and the sports world together, and the entertainment value therein should never be underestimated. Whether it be found from shit talking, team relocations, lawsuits, or WWE owners trying to start their own football leagues, the sports world is full of drama to embrace and enjoy.

If you ever choose to embrace the wonderful world of sports, there are a couple of rules to follow.
 * First, have a large amount of alcohol at your disposal at all times in case your team loses. And don't think you're somehow safe from this rule because there's no way your team can lose. As soon as you think that, your team will lose, and you'll have to endure tons of shit talking without the ability to drink yourself into unconscious to get away (aka the Indi Approach to Problem Solving).
 * Second, do not talk shit before the game ends, even if you have a 28-3 lead. This will also backfire every single time, and you'll look even stupider than before.
 * Third, in most cases, it is advisable to avoid shit talking entirely unless you are shit talked first. At this point, all rules of shit talking engagement are declared null and void, and a Flame War can commence.
 * One exception to the above rule is in the cases of the Olympics or World Cup. In that case, shit talk the hell out of anyone who doesn't support the US. Fucking communists.
 * Do not buy championship themed merchandise with your team on it or get a tattoo declaring your team the champions before your team actually wins the championship. You will jinx your team without fail.
 * Do not pretend like you have any skill in picking March Madness brackets. If you do well, it's because you got lucky. No one has any idea what's happening with that tournament.
 * Don't watch preseason games, regardless of how desperate you are for the season to start. You'll be bored by the end of the first fifteen minutes without fail.
 * Finally, fuck the Jets.

Sports are relatively popular among some of the Staffies, including Solaris Magnus, BTM, and MT Zehvor.